Check out my other guilty pleasure posts #1: Mean Girls and Rat Race and #2: Ben Stiller Movies
ROUND 1: Popular Teen Actress Carries the Film
CK: Who doesn't love Hilary Duff? She's great in everything and I will always watch her stuff. She's likable in Cadet Kelly because we all sympathize with her. Honestly, if my parents were moving to a military academy and didn't ask/ consult me but just told me I had to go one day, I'd be pissed off too. She's not really that much of a rebellious teen that she would even need to go to a military academy. There weren't any regular high schools nearby for her to attend?
WC: Emma Roberts has had some hits and misses but always seems to shine in these types of teen movies and now older, has found her footing successfully in shows like American Horror Story and the upcoming Scream Queens. She's great in Wild Child and actually does a pretty convincing job of being a bratty girl who actually does need to be reformed. With the help of her friends and her boarding school teachers she learns how to be a better, honest person.
ROUND 1 WINNER: CADET KELLY because Hilary Duff is the greatest.
ROUND 2: Transformation into the Environment
CK: Kelly Collins is cooky because her dad is free spirited and she twirls baton ribbons around with her friends. She also has blue hair extensions but is unfocused and unmotivated. She transforms and turns out to fit in quite well at military school. Successful (yet tame) transformation here. She has a best friend from home who is genuine (yet annoying) and a military school bff who is easily jealous and has no idea how to be a friend to anyone. It's overly forced in the first half of the movie how much she doesn't fit in there but eventually learns to. She tries mediocrely to get kicked out but doesn't really try that hard at it. It doesn't take much for her to start fitting in.
WC: Poppy Moore is actually bitchy and rebellious. She's rich but ungrateful. She's cruel and uses bad language constantly (the first line of this movie is literally her saying, "SHIT!"). She hates the beautiful British countryside and the rain. She has a totally fake best friend who Poppy thinks is genuine. She stands up arrogantly to her teachers and disrespects them. Luckily her roommates (and eventual friends) don't put up with any of her nonsense. Her boarding school is basically like a military academy though, lots of rules and restrictions. Poppy is high maintenance to say the least and enjoys standing out. She makes a truly impressively performance of trying to get kicked out. She even gets her friends to help her get kicked out. Get it? They become friends by helping her try to get kicked out but she turns out to actually like them and wants to stay there. Her transformation into a normal, nicer girl who fits in is enjoyable to watch.
ROUND 2 WINNER: WILD CHILD the character arc here is much stronger and a better story to watch.
ROUND 3: Getting Dirty... Literally
CK: Kelly has to actually go through a training course and a lot of that includes her traipsing through the mud on her hands and knees.
WC: Poppy's stuff gets wet from the rain and her make up runs down her face. 5 seconds later her soaking wet hair is back to looking perfectly straightened. Unrealistic. Also she fights in the mud with the bitchy girl who ends up covered in mud but Poppy has no mud on her but a tiny bit on face.
ROUND 3 WINNER: CADET KELLY it's realistic and points for Hilary Duff actually getting down in the mud and going through that training course.
ROUND 4: CUTE MALE LEAD
CK: Shawn Ashmore plays Brad. There's probably TONS and I mean TONS of hot guys at a military academy and probably one that's a bit younger for Kelly to actually be interested in but that's not the case. She doesn't really even have a chance for a romance with Brad but she just wants to stop Jennifer Stone (the mean girl) from getting with him. It doesn't really help much. They still pretty much stay together even if we don't see it specifically. I do love me some Ice Man though.
WC: Alex Pettyfer plays Freddie. He's the only guy in a women's boarding school because he's the headmistresses son so he's around occasionally. The mean girl likes him and is convinced (mostly incorrectly) that he's interested in her. It's actually my favorite Alex Pettyfer movie because he's not the lead and he's not that annoying. Also, he uses his natural British accent. Obviously he is attracted and becomes interested in Poppy. He (along with basically the whole school minus the teachers) likes her rebellion. (Fun fact: Johnny Pacar plays Poppy's American love interest who cheats on her with her "bff" but Pacar was actually in a Disney Channel movie called Now You See It...)
ROUND 4 WINNER: WILD CHILD because I mean come on. He's beautiful.
ROUND 5: The Mean Girl is Jealous of the Romantic Competition
CK: Jennifer Stone and Brad actually do have a legit history of... going to the welcome back dance together every year. She could easily be in a relationship with this guy if she wanted to. He's pretty chill when it comes to girls being interested in him. Kelly gets in the way only because she thinks Brad's cute but mostly because she wants to annoy Jennifer. There's not much romance in this movie in general. Jennifer tells Kelly that she's moving away at the end too so maybe Kelly and Brad do get together?
WC: While Freddie is the only guy that's around throughout the movie, there is a co-ed dance where lots of flumpy (I made that word up but it's accurate) boys ignore all the girls. Poppy and her friends dress crazy and cute and she grabs Freddie's attention away from Harriet (which isn't that hard to do since he doesn't even like her). This does give Harriet more motivation to mess with Poppy but don't worry, Poppy breaks out her "sexy" dancing moves to get the guy. Obviously, it works. Harriet gets kicked out at the end too so no more competition for Freddie's heart... not that there ever was any.
ROUND 5 WINNER: CADET KELLY because I respect that there's not some forced love triangle drama that would be unnecessary to the story.
ROUND 6: Single Parents, Father's Rule
CK: Kelly's parents are divorced but she's close with both of them and they're both civil with each other. Her mom is remarrying (hence the military school) and Kelly and her step father learn how to get along and connect. Her mom though is pretty passive and inattentive to Kelly's difficulties adjusting to military school (which was never her choice to attend). Her mom loses points too for not talking to Kelly at all and doing a crappy job of telling her that she's being forced to go to military school. She just tries to subtly bring it up and it seems like if her parents were better communicators that they would have conversations with Kelly before actually making a decision about it. They also tell her like 2 days before they actually move too. Not cool mom. Also, not cool for her step dad to be fine with that too.
WC: I have MAD respect for Poppy's dad. He knew that she definitely needed to be away from Malibu and to be self reliant and learn responsibility. He's tough but doesn't put up with her complaining and actually follows through with his punishment of sending her to boarding school. He even gets to be there in the end to see how much she's transformed and belongs there. She also gets to connect with her deceased mom who went to the same school. Poppy respects her dad in a new light for sending her there in the first place.
ROUND 6 WINNER: WILD CHILD in a landslide. Her dad is strict but you know he loves her and she loves him for sending her in the end too.
ROUND 7 (Final Round): Making New Friends
CK: Kelly has a best friend from her old school who is totally annoying well meaning. Once she's at military school the only person who befriends her is Carla. The problem though is that Carla is helpful but easily jealous. Whenever Kelly talks about her best friend from her old school Carla walks away sad as if she's betrayed. She acts like Kelly is only allowed to be her friend and no one else's, which is ridiculous. Kelly has to actually have a conversation with Carla and reassure her that even though she's loved her other best friend longer, she has room to have two best friends. (Um... DUH!) and Carla accepts her explanation. That probably explains why Carla doesn't already have friends there. She never introduces Kelly to anyone that she says is her friend.
WC: Poppy has to learn how to make genuine friends. Her Malibu best friend is fake, bitchy and just plain evil in every way. She ignores Poppy when she's sad and needs someone to talk to. She sleeps with Poppy's "boyfriend" (although he's never established as her actual boyfriend because Freddie comes into the picture later). She has no interest in actually being friends with Poppy. Well, negative points to Poppy for being so wrapped up in herself that she couldn't spot how phony her bff was. On the other hand, her boarding school friends are much better in comparison. They don't put up with her selfish ways and when she doesn't get her way she learns to change and be humble. When she changes they become her true friends and she definitely loves them and enjoys being with them. They're a great influence on her and because of them she ends up not getting expelled and gets to stay with her friends. Her dad also goes to see her play lacrosse and fit in. Moral of the story? If your daughter has bitchy friends and is disrespectful send her to boarding school and she'll heal the wounds of losing her mother and find where she's meant to be.
ROUND 7 WINNER: WILD CHILD because really the friendships are much better in that movie.
WINNER OF GUILTY PLEASURES CADET KELLY VS. WILD CHILD:
Cadet Kelly: 3
Wild Child: 4
Wild Child is the winner! While both movies are fun, guilty pleasures to watch, Wild Child is a better movie. Disagree? Watch them both for yourself and tell me your thoughts below!
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